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Hi! I hope you are successful finding a gay Baha'i in France. I'm sure there must be some! But remember, they don't have to be Baha'is! There are many wonderful people out there from all religious and spiritual backgrounds.

You sure hit the nail on the head. I think many of us wish we had control in choosing our sexuality, or many other aspects about ourselves. I, for one, also wish I had a more athletic body and bushier eyebrows and blue eyes! On the other hand, I'm pretty happy with my height, skin tone and my feet.

Lol. The point I'm trying to make is that there are some things about ourselves we can change, and some we simply cannot. We can fix some things -- like crooked teeth and poor eyesight, with medical attention. We can change some things, such as our weight, through diet and execize. We can hide some things, such as gray hair, with coloring. So far there hasn't been much success in GROWING hair (has there?) or adding height.

But I've looked far and wide, and so far have found no way to change my sexual identity. I tried all the things my religion taught me, like getting married, being celibate. They didn't work. I'm still gay. I did spend quite a few decades HIDING my gayness with a straight-acting facade. But that was exhausting and demoralizing and frankly, not very healthy for me.

So now I've simply concluded I cannot change this aspect of myself (my sexuality), despite what others (who are not gay by the way) say. Therefore, until they invent a pill or an operation to change me, I am a gay man. And it's really not so bad. Being gay is not really the problem. It's peoples' and society's reaction to it. So the only way to remedy the terrible feelings you have when you are gay is to ignore what people and society think about it. And as it turns out, this is a very good lesson for life in general. Do we wish to live our lives to gain approval of people and society? Or rather in a way in which we are true to ourselves. Ask this question of ANY group of people who have at one time or another been condemned by society...say blacks in the U.S. in the 1950's. Or Jews. Or women in 1910.

We gay people need to follow the lead of other oppressed groups and recognize that we are full fledged human beings with all the rights of any other human in society. We can demand no less. And this starts by believing it oneself -- that indeed, one IS gay, it CANNOT be changed, and there is NOTHING wrong or unnatural about that.

Cheers from the USA!